The Night I Took DXM and Went on the Magical Mystery Tour

I should start off this story by saying if I sound like I know what I'm talking about, I don't. Not really. All my research has been done after the fact of the DXM trip. Because that trip changed me, in ways I still can't quite grasp.  

Let me hush up and tell you what happened. 

I wasn't planning on taking huge amounts of cough medication when I woke up that morning. I wasn't planning on anything at all. A friend I had only known online for about a year asked me to hang out and get a coffee.... and the next thing I knew, it was two days later and everything had changed for me. 

He and I are no longer friends. I'm okay with this. I feel like the experience we had together was the point of us meeting in the first place, and we completed our spiritual work together that weekend.

When we met, I was going through a spiritual abyss. I was in The Bell Jar. The sudden death of my brother had left me reeling emotionally and thrown me into a two year long depression. Yep, two years. The first year I found it difficult to get out of my bed. The second year, I met my ex friend. 

He was strange, to say the least. But so was I, and we clicked. I was so excited to meet someone who could talk in depth about Aldous Huxley and Aileen Wuornoss, who also thought Mike Patton was a God, and who had a dead pan sense of humor on top of it all. He himself was a regular user of DXM (which for the record, is a BAD IDEA. Too much of a good thing will permanently fuck up your brain chemistry, making you appear as if you have schizophrenia or antisocial personality disorder.) He was almost Shamanistic in the way he talked. My spiritual drought resonated in this, and I began to look up to him as a source of Divine Inspiration.

Eh. I've made worse mistakes. 

The day we met was phenomenal for me. I felt like I had known him my entire life, it was that comfortable. So when he asked me if I wanted to "go into the ether" with him, I happily threw all caution to the wind and said yes to a drug I knew nothing about. He explained the plateaus to me as I popped a handful of Coricidan in my mouth, but I wasn't really listening. I was wondering what the hell I had just gotten myself into. It suddenly occurred to me I had taken a hallucinogenic known for causing disassociation, and I was in a virtual strangers  dank, moldy basement.  I began 

to panic. He sensed this and calmed me down, saying we should watch tv. 

I strongly recommend a trip guide for DXM. Especially if it's your first time. 

I was sitting on the couch when it began to take hold. I felt myself get a little clammy, and the television began to look cartoonish. I  couldn't understand the words that were being spoken. Everything took on a cartoonish, swirly, blurred tint. He asked if I was ok. I said yes.

Then time stopped.

I remember laying on the couch and feeling like my soul was being sucked out of my body with a vacuum. The kind of vacuum you upse to clean your car at gas stations. I was floating up to the ceiling, and I wanted back in my body, STAT. I don't remember what I said, but I do remember him laying on me trying to keep me from floating away forever. It helped. It grounded me just enough. I closed my eyes and lost all time and space.

I saw visuals, to say the least. Colors and patterns and exploded behind my eyelids. I felt like my entire body was vibrating. I felt my soul try to escape and I surrendered to it. I went out of my body. Completely and totally. My friend somehow sensed this. Maybe because he was up on the ceiling, too. 

And that's when he asked me to come outside. He said he had something he had been dying to show me.

Walking was a challenge. I could have auditioned for The Walking Dead. I was the George Romero protype of zombies. My arms were useless, my legs were dragging and heavy. My body was not my body. But what is my body? And where is my body? I was a soul lugging around a heavy, cumbersome meat suit. 

My friend helped me up the stairs and took me stumbling outside onto his deck. It was as if I were seeing planet earth for the first time. Like I was an alien. He put his hands over my eyes and said, "Are you ready? Look up at the sky."

And bam.

All of the stars were connected by thin lines. I could actually see the constellations. There were also red laser like lines vibrating and shimmering, and red stars. I said, "HOLY SHIT! DO YOU SEE THAT, TOO?" He laughed and said, "Yes. That's what I wanted to show you." I was flabbergasted. I said, "has this always been here? Why have I never seen this before?" He said, "You haven't seen it because your third eye hasn't been open till now." Or something like that. I don't remember. Because then I saw the Grid.

The Grid. The best way I can describe it is a geodesic dome. There were translucent white lines all around me and above me, and I was walking through them, feeling a complete sense of euphoria. I sensed these lines have always been here, and the veil had been lifted for me. There was nothing scary about it. It was almost like a map, and I began to think that this is how aliens and spirits traveled, using an astral grid unseen by the naked human eye. The air had a soft, heavy quality. Time was non existent. What was time? If you had asked me, I would have not had an answer. 

My friend and I had a deeply profound conversation at this point, of which I cannot remember a word. We could have been speaking Sanskrit for all I know. I felt connected to him on a level like I have never felt in my life. Not as two people, but as one collective soul walking together in this Amazing Upside Down World where absolutely no one else was. It was like we had held hands and jumped into a portal, and merged into one person, and yet both were absolutely no person at all. 

Ground Control to Major Tom
Ground Control to Major Tom
Take your protein pills and put your helmet on

My friend began to say something to me, and I looked over at his body. He had a giant yellow light emanating from his forehead reaching to me  (my subconscious piped up and said this was his third eye chakra), a purple light coming from his throat that were making his words float out in purple and hang suspended in the air, and a red light streaming from his heart chakra and circling me like a spiderweb. I found myself helpless to break free of it.  I was nothing but a receptor. 

Ground Control to Major Tom (ten, nine, eight, seven, six)
Commencing countdown, engines on (five, four, three)
Check ignition and may God's love be with you 

Two, one, liftoff 

And that's when the real visuals began. 

I was walking back inside when I saw a geometric gorilla greeting me by the front door. I paused in fear. I said, "there's a gorilla blocking the door." My friend said, "it's not real, just push it away." So I shoved it with my right arm and it disappeared in a puff of smoke. Then as I began to descend the stairs into the basement, I saw a cartoon Capn Crunch standing at the bottom, and casually pointed this out. My friend helped me down the stairs and I punched Capn Crunch. He exploded into Tetris like pieces, and I exploded into laughter. 

This is where my memory stops. 

I don't recall anything after this. Not one thing. 

From what I've since read, I can only assume I made it to the fabled Fourth Plateau. My out of body experience was in full beast mode. I was sailing the seas of the ether, and I am pretty certain I left a part of myself there, and took a part of my friend back with me instead. 

The next thing I knew, it was 5 am and I woke up on a cold, hard floor. I had no idea where I was. I looked down and saw I was covered in a blanket and my friend and I were clinging to each other in our sleep. 

I knew something had happened to me spiritually that night. I had experienced complete ego death, and coming out of it, I felt wide awake. I began asking for signs and receiving them almost immediately.  

Then everything suddenly went chaotic in my life. It was like this new awakening had unearthed something in me, awoken this part of me that just said EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY. JUST LIVE YOUR TRUTH AND DO NOT WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE. IT IS OUT OF YOUR CONTROL. JUST BE. 

So I took my swimmies off, and jumped naked into the ocean that is the vast unknown. And here I am. Floating along, riding the waves, not resisting the process. It's just happening to me. 

Later in the month, alone on my back porch at night , I asked my spirt guides for a sign I was on the right path in my personal journey. I asked for a shooting star or some kind of explosion of light, something I couldn't miss. And my porch light flickered on and off, then turned this soft pink color.  It was incredible. I cried. For the first time in two years, I felt like I could feel my brother. And I finally, finally, finally, exhaled. 

As for my friend who shepherded me into this phase of my spiritual evolution? 

I am so grateful for him, even if we ended on horrible terms, even if he doesn't appreciate or want my gratitude.  I was very upset when I chose to end the friendship. It didn't come easy. The friendship was demolished and the connection between us needed to be severed. I felt a sense of loss I couldn't explain to myself. 

One afternoon, my coworker saw me sitting at my desk staring gloomily out the window at work.

She walked over to me and said, "Honey, I know this is going to sound crazy, but I see a golden light around you. You are destined for greatness. And God is telling me to tell you that you are on the right path, and to keep going. So I have to tell you."

Sign #2 I am still on the right path came in the form of an African American lady with a purple wig she nicknamed Priscilla. 

I'll keep asking for signs I'm on the right path. I'll keep the secrets I learned that night with me for the rest of my time on earth. 

So. Would I do DXM again?

Nah. Not without my cosmic time traveler partner by my side. 

This is Major Tom to Ground Control

I'm stepping through the door
And I'm floating in a most peculiar way
And the stars look very different today
For here
Am I sitting in a tin can
Far above the world
Planet Earth is blue
And there's nothing I can do

❤️